First though, I have officially published my website! Check it out! www.toddhulet.com
This story is not mine. It's not really even mine to tell. But it's completely true and very funny.
So I'll just change the names and tell it anyway.
Once upon a time, there was a boy who had a kitten. (See, clearly not my story.) The cat died while he was at school. The boy came home having no idea the tragedy that had occurred. But Mom knew. And Mom was scared to death to tell her son the news. What is Mom to do?
Drug her son of course!
Son goes to his room to get started on his homework after school. He is sitting on his bed when his mother enters.
"Um, Hi Mom."
"Hi, Son."
"What are you visiting for? You only visit my room when I'm in really big trouble or a family member has died."
"You're not in trouble. I just wanted to bring you some Arby's I got for you."
Mom holds out the Arby's regular roast beef sandwich, paper open and ready for a bite.
As the son reached for the sandwich, Mom held it closer to his mouth.
"Take a bite," she said with a smile. He obeyed.
Confused he did not yet realize what was happening.
"Take another bite."
"Mom, why is there white stuff on that--?" She pushed the beef closer.
"And another bite. And another."
"Mom! That sandwich is bitter!"
"Here have some lemonade. More lemonade. Now you look tired. Why don't you rest."
The son awoke a few hours later and was then visited again by his mother, "I found your cat dead on the street this morning."
The boy was torn up inside! Angry! Hurt! Sad! . . . And yet none of these feelings actually came to him. He wanted to bad to cry but no matter how hard he tried to be upset he was totally okay with the situation. THANK YOU XANAX!
Awesome.
Funny story, right? It's even funnier when you find out the boy was 16 at the time! SIXTEEN!
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Funny, yeah. But seriously, that mom thought her 16 year old son wouldn't be able to handle news of a pet's death without meds? She gives new meaning to the word helicopter. Glad I'm not HER kid!
ReplyDeleteI don't wanna meet THAT kid who is 16 and would be so sad about a cat's death that his mother would feel the need to drug him up to deliver the news. . .hmmm. . .
ReplyDeleteWhat a great story. P.S. Your blog is hilarious.
ReplyDeletehaha thats horrible.
ReplyDeleteI like the blog. Im your newest follower. MoHo here myself. ;)