Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Gay Bashed by an Eight Year Old!

So I'm at work right now and made a new little friend named Cole. Little Cole is eight and a smart one. Not the best behaved kid, but in his defense he's not in a lot of scenes in this week's show so he has to sit quietly more than any of the other kids. So today I decided to let him sit at the table next to me.

I had my computer open which started the conversation: (Mind you, this is our dialogue almost verbatim)

"You have a lot of girl friends."
"You think she's pretty?"
"No, YOU do though." (This was said as a comeback to my apparent insult.)
"I do actually."
"Is that your wife?"
"But you're married aren't you?"
"Really? But you're like what--19 or 20?"
"Woah! And you don't have a wife?! But you do have a girlfriend, don't you, cause if you don't that's PATHETIC!" (This eight year old just called me pathetic!)
"Kinda I do."
(He looked down and saw a pink paper clip)
"Is this pink paper clip yours? (It wasn't) It is isn't it! You have a pink paper clip AND you play the piano?! I don't know about that."
(WHAT?!?! He's eight! Where is this coming from?
He had complete control of this conversation now. And I was rolling with laughter. He continued.)
"I need to delete some of those girls from your Facebook. That's just ridiculous. You know you should be a date man. (I'm guessing he meant Matchmaker) You have lots of girls to set up."
(Finally my turn.)
"You want me to set you up on a date."
"Hey now. (I kid you not he said Hey now.) I'm only eight. Give me a break. I still got some time til I gotta deal with them. You probably don't even really have a girlfriend do you! You probably have a bbbooooyyyfffrrriieeennnnddd. Is he tall and hunky?! I'll bet he's tall and hunky." (Where does he get his material?!)

That's when Ally called him to join the group. Whew!

Not to worry though the class ended with my new little friend asking me, "Where are you going for lunch? Don't you want to eat with me?"



  1. Todd this is hysterical! This kid is Bette Midler with testosterone. And what would you wager he grows up to be out and proud too? Sounds like he's got the makings.

  2. Ha ha! Kids are quick! You better watch your back around them....jk.


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